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Hello and Welcome
to
Mark Foulsham's Sloane website

 
Gone But Not Forgotten

You may think you're done with the past but the past isn't done with you!

"The merits of a school are judged as much by the men it produces as by their achievements as boys" - 

(Old Cheynean D.J. Cowie, March 1929)
 

REGISTER AND LINK UP WITH OLD SCHOOL FRIENDS AGAIN AND BECOME PART OF SLOANE REUNITED

YOU'LL NEED TO REGISTER FOR YOUR WEBSITE TO CREATE YOUR OWN PERSONAL PASSWORD AND VIEW ALL OF ITS PAGES. IF YOU HAVE A VALID SLOANE CONNECTION JUST CLICK ON THE BUTTON BELOW. BUT CHOOSE CLASSMATE PROFILES AT THE TOP FIRST TO SEE IF WE'VE BEEN EXPECTING YOU. IF YOUR NAME'S THERE CLICK ON IT AND FOLLOW ON-SCREEN INSTRUCTIONS
 

IT'S FREE, IT'S EASY, IT'S SECURE

You're Never Alone As A Sloane

IF YOU'D PREFER MORE INFO BEFORE COMMITTING YOURSELF, CLICK ON THE ENVELOPE BELOW AND SEND ME A DIRECT EMAIL -

 

Self-portrait by Stefan Bremner-Morris

  PLEASE REMEMBER TO LOG OUT WHEN YOU LEAVE THE SITE USING THE LOG OUT BUTTON UNDER MEMBER FUNCTIONS IN THE LEFT HAND COLUMN.

  SEE ALL THE LATEST NEWS AND UPDATES FURTHER DOWN, AND CHECK THE CALENDAR AT THE FOOT OF THIS PAGE TO SEE WHAT'S HAPPENING.

   IF YOU'RE ALREADY A SITE MEMBER PLEASE REMEMBER TO KEEP YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS UP TO DATE USING EDIT CONTACT INFO IN THE LEFT HAND COLUMN.

Come on in! 
Don't be late! 
This is one detention 
You'll be pleased to take.

 

                     A WARM WELCOME 

to fellow Cheyneans and passers-by, from the Official Sloane Grammar School 1919-1970 Old Cheyneans and Friends web site. We'll keep the home fires burning until you join us.

Mark Foulsham created this site in August 2008 to record for posterity all that I can, and for all those who attended Sloane or simply have a Sloane connection, to share and enjoy. Feel free just to browse or, if you feel you qualify to join us, make full use of the site by becoming a Registered Classmate.

Click on the Click Here to Register button above to start the registration process. It's Free!

I'll also be happy to send a personal invitation to anyone else with a Sloane School Chelsea connection who you think might like to join us. Just enter their Email address in the MISSING CLASSMATES  box to your right and click Send Invite.

Aspirations and Objectives

Sloane never had a motto so I'll adopt the one to be found on the Coat of Arms of the Royal Borough of Kensington and Chelsea as it suits us nicely -

Quam Bonum In Unum Habitare

(What A Good Thing It Is To Dwell Together In Unity) 

It is hoped, in some small way, to be able to have similar objectives to those stated for the first issue of The Cheynean in December 1926  -

"To record faithfully the major activities of the School, to promote and foster a corporate spirit in the School, to excite a greater keenness both in the games and in other phases of its social life, and to serve as a link between present members of the School and the Old Cheyneans".  -

and also to bring together, once again, old friends and classmates, and those of us who have outlived the school and share a common interest in its history and its future.

If you've any memories of Sloane you'd like to share, use the Contact Us page to send them in and, whilst you're there, register for the site as well. 

Once you've registered, you can activate the Instant Messaging feature that allows you to hold a 'real-time' online conversation with anyone else who has logged on to the website. You can also send a message to someone else on the site via the Message Centre page but, if you're expecting a swift reply, it might be worthwhile using their Profile on the Classmate Profiles page, to see what part of the world they're living in these days, and to have an idea of the time where they are. Use the Clocks below, to check.

After you've registered, why not take a look at all the Classmate Profiles ? Even if you don't know the person involved, the information they've put on their Profile can be interesting, illuminating and fun, and often brings back memories of something you thought you'd forgotten about.

If, at any time, you're unsure about anything click on this Using The Site link for an explanation or contact me direct via the Contact Us page.

Why Not Take a Look at Where your Classmates are Living?

Find out the Postcode of a Classmate from their Profile (if they've agreed to let everyone know it) then Click on the link below, enter the details where it says 'Address', then Click on 'Go'. Not every country is covered yet and those that are have limited coverage, but it's worth a try.

Here's the link. Have fun - http://www.vpike.com/

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Sloane in 1908 and much as it looks today

The Sloane building was 100 years old in 2008, although it didn't actually start life as a boys' school until after the First World War, during which it served as a hospital. It still stands and many memories are, no doubt, ingrained in its walls along with the odd name and ribald comment. Who knows what the future holds, despite its Grade II listing on May 7th, 2002. Grade II listed buildings can be altered, extended, or even demolished, but only with Local Authority consent, so it may be that the building is considered historically or architecturally interesting enough for it's fabric to remain untouched. Some consideration may have been given to it having been the first purpose-built secondary school in London, and it is certainly one of only 3% of all ages of listed buildings that was built in the 20th century. Schools generally are seen as a good investment by developers because they're easy to convert. They are likely to be structurally sound because the authorities will have inspected them regularly to ensure they comply with Health and Safety requirements. 

Sadly, Sloane Grammar School for Boys only lasted 51 years, from 1919-1970. Should the building survive in the form we all remember, there is still a chance that some of us will be around in 2019 to make use of the building to celebrate what would have been its centenary as a boys' school, had the school remained in existence.

 
UPDATE ON BUILDING PROGRESS

Kensington & Chelsea College created a timelapse video of the construction of the new college that now sits where the playground used to be between the old Sloane building and the old Carlyle building. Work on the new college building, was completed in 2012  and the college is in operation. Take a look at the construction video below along with pictures of how it now looks -
 

The flats, constructed in Sloane's old North playground on the Fulham Road are known as Milliner House, Chelsea Apartments,  and were ready for occupation in 2011 at advertised prices between £785,000 and £2,350,000. Or if you could afford it, the single penthouse at the top would have set you back £5.85 million when first offered for sale but a market downturn in 2012 saw it reduced to an almost tempting £4.25 million - and it was being sold as a shell!

Phase 2 of the project was originally for conversion of the original Edwardian building into loft style apartments by D19 Property but the new owners, No. 1 Estates Ltd, who have a connection to D19 Property were, on 22 October, 2012, given planning permission to retain the building as an educational establishment by Kensington and Chelsea Planning and Borough Development Department. Due to a confidentiality agreement we're not allowed to know more at the moment.

What's also interesting is that the old Chelsea College of Art and Design in Manresa Road, to which Sloane can trace its origins in its guise as the South-Western Polytechnic, was, in 2012, about to make way for a scheme involving 15 apartments and two town houses. There's no stopping 'progress'. 

The view from Fulham Road		The entrance to the apartments on Hortensia Road
A closer view of the apartments		The view of Fulham Road and the old St Mark's College from one of the balconies

The shell of the 6th floor penthouse

 * * *

Whatever our own personal reasons for it doing so, the school will still haunt most of us even if it disappears altogether. With that tenuous link, here's a poem that I came across in an old copy of The Cheynean -

The Ghost of Sloane

When London's asleep and the School very quiet,
No sound of footsteps, no sound of a riot,
No sound of even the shuffle of feet,
No sound of the creak of a pupil's seat,
Out of the darkness the ghost of Sloane
Awakes from rest with a sigh and a groan.
Then up he arises to haunt the School
Climbing the stairs in the guise of a ghoul.
He shuffles and clanks down each corridor
Into the classrooms where stand desks galore.
He examines each desk and checks the boys' work,
Allots ghostly marks in the dark and the murk.

If you ever lose books from out of your desk,
And the teacher upbraids you and calls you a pest,
Just tell him my story, however tall,
Of the white shrouded phantom that haunts the School Hall.

                                                    J. Hollingshead (3C)

* * *

As for us, the boys who used to attend our Chelsea school, we probably considered ourselves 'Chelsea men' but I doubt that many of fitted the description in this poem, written when he was in the 5th year by one time Sloane Schoolboy, A R Doubledee. I get the impression he didn't particularly approve of the 'Beatniks' of the late 50s and early 60s that he found himself sharing Chelsea with or, as he called them the 'Weirdies' -

The Weirdies

The Chelsea man is excessively queer,
He only drinks coffee and doesn't like beer.
He's always "chatting" the girls, and yet
This seems to make him "one of the set".

His unkempt chin and uncut hair
Go with his feet which are usually bare.
If he wears shoes, they've never got soles,
And he's usually found in Bohemian holes.

His outsize sweater is generally black
Contrasting well with his shorty mac.
He wears his clothing merely to show
That he can keep up with the boys of Soho.

To find a girl he doesn't look far,
But into the nearest coffee bar,
Where he's sure to meet a Bohemian "yob".
They're all from Chelsea - what a mob!

The girls with hair right down their backs
Wear irregular clothes that look like sacks.
They walk about wearing father's sweater:
I really don't see why he should let 'er.

Their gaudy clothes of reds and greens
Match up with the style of their men-friends' jeans.
Now that's how it goes with the latest style:
Girls on their faces make-up pile,
The men wear anything they can find -
I shouldn't stare, I should just act blind!

A.R. Doubledee (5b)

* * * * * * * *

FRONT PAGE NEWS !

Gender Roles In Afghanistan

An American journalist did a story on gender roles in Kabul, Afghanistan several years before the Afghan conflict.

She noted that women customarily walked five paces behind their husbands. She recently returned to Kabul and observed that, despite the overthrow of the Taliban regime, the women still seem happy to maintain the old custom, and still walk behind their husbands.

She approached one of the Afghani women and asked,

"Why do you now seem happy with an old custom that you once tried so desperately to change?"

The woman looked her straight in the eyes, and without hesitation said,

"Landmines."

 
***

Health Cuts Hit Merton
 

Our local hospital has decided to play it's part in the Government Health Service cutbacks by downsizing it's ambulance service. Response times have become a little slow as a result but patients have said it's a small price to pay in return for the friendly, intimate service that they feel they are also doing their part in saving. Mr Joshua Nkomo is glad of the work anyway -
 

Breaking News!

Late News In From The London Olympics

An explanation of the shock gold medal win in the wrestling for Norwegian Ole over the Russian favourite, Oleg, has reached the newsdesk 10 months after the event. The Russian had been famous for his 'pretzel' hold and when he held Ole in it the inevitable defeat was expected to ensue. However, the Russian was heard to scream and go flying through the air. When he landed, Ole fell on top of him and pinned him to the floor long enough to win. No one could understand it at the time but now, back home in Oslo, Ole was asked,

"How did you ever get out of the 'pretzel' hold? No one has ever done that before!"

Ole answered,

"Vel, I vas ready to giver up when he got me in dat hold, but at da last moment, I opened my eyes and saw dis pair of testicles right in front of my face. I had nuttin' to lose so wid my last ounce of strength I stretched out my neck and bit dose babies just as hard as I could."

"So that's what finished him off!" the interviewer exclaimed.

"Vel, not really," said Ole. "You'd be amazed how strong you get when you bite your own nuts!"

POLICE NEWS

Bradford Police have decided to set up a Muslim officer only task force to patrol the city's streets. Expect to be confronted with that well known police greeting,

"Allah, Allah, Allah. What 'ave we 'ere then?"

HOME FRONT NEWS

As promised, here's an update on my exploits with my mate and his metal detector. Armed with our Freedom Passes, metal detector and garden trowel we've been doing a little more treasure hunting along the Thames foreshore whilst keeping fit at the same time. Well, I would be able to keep fit if it didn't take me so long to recover from each jaunt. Muscles that I'd forgotten I ever had are now starting to reveal themselves to me in all their pain. Progress is slow but amongst the usual 2p and 1p pieces that revellers have decided to dispatch off Putney Bridge, we found our first pre-decimal coin last week in the shape of a 1909 farthing. Well worn, and of no value, it's nonetheless given us the inspiration to continue, and next week we'll be visiting the shores of Isleworth in search of more treasure and, no doubt, to pay a visit to the London Apprentice, which for those not in the know, is a notable hostelry. The combination of beer, walking and digging means I'll soon be back on the cardioligist's diet, if I'm not careful. You know the one, if it tastes good, spit it out.

Looks like our mortgage misery will soon be ended with the news that my wife will be able to sell her Young's Brewery (she used to work for them) shares when she becomes 60 in October. That's a big weight off our minds and with me claiming Pension Credits and my wife about to take her private pension early, life's looking a little more rosy. About time!

My daughter tells me her baby is now apparently the size of a papaya. Depends where you buy your papayas I would have thought. I'm just grateful it's not the size of a banana because they usually come in bunches. She knows the baby's sex now but I'm doing my best not to find out. I'm funny like that.

Finally, I've just found out that the unluckiest ever letter writer lives up the road. In 1975 he wrote to Jimmy Savile's Jim'll Fix It asking to go on It's A Knockout with Stuart Hall. I'm not even going to ask. Even poor old Ken Barlow (William Roache) has been dragged into the sorry saga now, but Coronation Street scriptwriters have handled the situation as well as ever -

That's all folks!
 

Jokes of the Week (or until I can find more)

This week's joke is on the celebrities who spouted these wonderful words. We've all made the odd faux pas and regretted what we've said but, unfortunately for those in the public eye, theirs tend to get publicised -

On September 17, 1994, Alabama's Heather Whitestone was selected to be Miss America 1995 and was asked,

"If you could live forever, would you and why?"

Her answer was,

"I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever."

Singer Mariah Carey -

"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean, I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."

Actress Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a US federal anti-smoking campaign -

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."

Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward -

"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body."

Marion Barry, Mayor of Washington DC -

"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country."

Danny Ozark, Philadelphia Phillies manager -

"Half this game is 90% mental."

Al Gore, US Vice President -

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."

Dan Quayle, US Vice President -

"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix" (It's in Arizona).

Lee Iacocca, US motor trade businessman -

"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"

Joe Thiesman, US NFL football quarterback and sports analyst -

"The word 'genius' isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."

Colonel Gerald Wellman, US Reserve Officers' Training Corps -

"We don't necessarily discriminte. We simply exclude certain types of people."

Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina -

"Your food stamps will be stopped effectively March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may re-apply if there is a change in your circumstances."

Mark Fowler, Chairman os US Federal Communications Commission -

"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record."

* *

Thoughts For The Day (or until the next one)

Is a mock GCSE a qualification in sarcasm?

The first piece of luggage on the airport carousel never belongs to anyone.

"By all means marry. If you get a good wife you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher." - Socrates

"I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury." - Groucho Marx

"Sometimes when I look at my children, I say to myself Lillian, you should have remained a virgin." - Lillian Carter, mother of Jimmy Carter

"I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: - No good in bed, but fine against a wall." - Eleanor Roosevelt
 
"When the white missionaries came to Africa they had the Bible and we had the land. They said, "Let us pray." We closed our eyes. When we opened them we had the Bible and they had the land." - Desmond Tutu

"The best cure for sea sickness, is to sit under a tree." - Spike Milligan

And finally, how long before we come to this -

"Good morning we want to apply for a marriage licence."

"Names?"

"Tim and Jim Jones."

"Jones? Are you related? I see a resemblance."

"Yes, we're brothers."

"Brothers? You can't get married."

"Why not? Aren't you giving marriage licences to same gender couples?"

"Yes, thousands. But we haven't had any siblings. That's incest!"

"Incest? No, we're not gay."

"Not gay? Then why do you want to get married?"

"For the financial benefits, of course. And we do love each other. Besides, we don't have any other prospects."

"But we're issuing marriage licences to gay and lesbian couples who've been denied equal protection under the law. If you're not gay, you can get married to a woman."

"Wait a minute. A gay man has the same right to marry a woman as I have. But just because I'm straight doesn't mean I want to marry a woman. I want to marry Jim."

"And I want to marry Tim. Are you going to discriminate against us just because we are not gay?"

"All right, all right. I'll give you your licence. Next."

"Hi. We are here to get married."

"Names?"

"John Smith, Jane James, Robert Green, and June Johnson."

"Who wants to marry whom?"

"We all want to marry each other."

"But there are four of you!"

"that's right. You see, we're all bisexual. I love Jane and Robert, Jane loves me and June, June loves Robert and Jane, and Robert loves June and me. All of us getting married together is the only way that we can express our sexual preferences in a marital relationship."

"But we've only been granting licences to gay and lesbian couples."

"So you're discriminating against bisexuals!"

"No, it's just that, well, the traditional idea of marriage is that it's just for couples."

"Since when are you standing on tradition?"

"Well, I mean, you have to draw the line somewhere."

"Who says? There's no logical reason to limit marriage to couples. The more the better, Besides, we demand our rights!" We're gauranteed equal protection under the law. Give us a marriage licence!"

"All right, all right. Next."

"Hello, I'd like a marriage licence."

"In what names?"

"David Davies."

"And the other man?"

"That's all. I want to marry myself."

"Marry yourself? What do you mean?"

"Well, my psychiatrist says I have a dual personality, so I want to marry the two together. Maybe I can also file a joint Income Tax return."

"That does it! I quit! You are maing a mockery of marriage."

***

Personal Ads

The personal ads you'll see here over time are genuine and taken from the London Review of Books personal ads section. It was started in 1998, intending to bring together people of similar literary and cultural tastes and has resulted in a funny and clever collection. I'll publish a different one each week and hope you enjoy them as much as I do and, if you ever spot any yourself,worthy of inclusion here, please let me have them and, so as not to give everyone the impression that you spend all your time looking at the personal ads, I'll withold your name on request! -

"In the year 2273, dogs will walk on their hind legs and eat at tables with men. The tables will float in the air, propelled by some sort of anti-gravitational force - assuming there'll still be gravity. Which I doubt very much, because in the year 2128, fish=like creatures will onvade the earth and drink its gravity like hot soup. But tomorrow you and I (M, 32) will love each other and caress our hair like the gentle Koala-Men of Graaaxxux-9. Box no. 1302."

AND DON'T FORGET TO CHECK THE 'WHAT'S HAPPENING' CALENDAR FURTHER DOWN THIS PAGE, OR TO SCROLL DOWN ALL PAGES AS THERE'S MORE TO SEE!

*

Sloane Information at the LMA

London Metropolitan Archives hold some information relating to Sloane. Some of the items are accessible if you visit the LMA at 40, Northampton Road, Clerkenwell, London, EC1R 0HB (phoning to make an appointment on 020 7332 3820 is advisable) but you will need to apply for a 'History Card' via their website if you intend printing copies of any of the items.

Go to the website at www.lma.gov.uk for full details. Clicking on the following link,
 

London Metropolitan Archives

will take you to a page on their site where you can enter 'Sloane School' in the Search Terms box and click on 'Run Search'. This will bring up all available items.

These include - 

Admission and Discharge Registers 1904-48, 1958-61 and 1964-66, a 1938 Plan of the school, drawings relating to Building Act case files 1935-57, and 23 photos of various school activities 1924-69, though some of these are listed as 'missing'.

Other items they hold are 'closed' under the 65 year rule that protects the confidentiality of living individuals. In other words, they can't be accessed for 65 years from the school's closure so will be available to the public in 2035.

However, these 'closed' items can be consulted by the LMA on behalf of individuals under the provisions of the Data Protection Act, so contact them direct if you're interested.

The 'closed' items are -

Log Book 1967-70 (Ref: LCC/EO/DIV01/SLO/LB/001)

Punishment Book 1962-70 (Ref: LCC/EO/DIV01/SLO/MISC/001)

Staff Registers -
1895-1963; 1965-70 (Ref: LCC/EO/DIV01/SLO/MISC/002-004)
 

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CALENDAR OF EVENTS


All Forthcoming Events, And The Ones You Missed, Can Be Seen On The Calendar Below:-
 

Apologies for any adverts but it's cheaper for me if I allow them. 

Click on an event to learn more about it and on a gun to go backwards or forwards in time.If you can't see everything use the scroll bars to move to what you can't see.